Chronic Pain

Pain is the body’s way of telling the brain we are still alive. That’s my story and I am sticking to it.

I have wrestled with the idea of addressing this subject for sometime. I think I can speak for the majority of us who suffer from chronic pain syndrome when I say we aren’t looking for sympathy or pity. We just want you to understand what we are dealing with. Too many think we are overreacting and are just cry babies. I am here to tell you the pain is real and can be relentless at times.

Mine began when I crushed my heel, broke my ankle and instep in 1979. My toes were about the only thing that were spared. The doctor who treated me said he didn’t think I would walk again and if I managed to do so it would be with the assistance of a cane. He was wrong on both counts.

The bones healed but the pain never really stopped. It just got worse. It has wreaked havoc on my quality of life. I have reached a point where all I want to do is sit on my arse and keep my foot elevated to combat the pain.

On those days I force myself to get up, put on my big boy panties and deal with it. Some days are harder than others. The pain is not only physical but emotional as well. I have to fight off depression daily but I can say I have remained victorious in that battle. I get tired of hurting. I try to remember what life was like without pain. It keeps me awake at night and causes fatigue. It becomes a chore just to go to town 3 miles away. Negative thoughts try to creep in but I have learned to keep them at bay with positive thoughts. It can be quite the emotional battle that some days drain me mentally and physically.

Recently I have had to start the day using a cane but once I am up and moving for about an hour and the foot loosens up I can lose the cane. There are mornings that I have to work diligently to get my foot in a boot. The majority of my pain is caused by inflammation and arthritis.

I have enrolled in pain management with little success. I was on hydrocodone for ten years until one morning I got up and took myself off it. It basically just dulled my pain and I was afraid of what it was doing to my body. I wasn’t getting any real benefit from it. I have tried ointments and even used horse liniment that gives short lived temporary relief never completely eradicating the pain.

I contribute my ability to cope with CPS to my love of nature, fishing and kayaking. They keep me motivated to deal with it and to keep on trucking.

I am by no means the only one who suffers from CPS and we all have different ways of combating it. Just please be aware that for the majority of us the pain is real. Our quality of life sucks and we become cranky and hard to be around. We don’t mean to be but the fatigue and pain sometimes become so unbearable we lash out even though it against our better judgement.

No doubt you all know someone who suffers from CPS. Please don’t offer us pity or sympathy. Instead try to understand us and be a positive force in our life. Help us through the rough spots. There are days that an “atta boy” or hug can ease the pain, give us hope and brighten our days. Please don’t judge us just try to understand us.

12 thoughts on “Chronic Pain

  1. That’s extremely rough Double D.
    Our handicapped daughter who lives with us has chronic pain that would probably kill me. She says many of the same things. sleeps with ice packs and smiles at me every morning. “Hang in there” sounds way too simplistic. I understand about fishing and nature. I have some long talks with our creator out in the woods, on the water and around the fire.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks Double D. I have often told her I would take her pain if possible. Her answer is always “Dad I can handle this pain much better than you”.
        Hugs are her #1 priority in life. She gets many a day. When she was little she would make all the old people at church wait for her to give them a hug before they could go home. It was funny to see 15 elderly lined up against the back wall, canes walkers and all, waiting for a hug from Tania before oing home. fond memories. her gift to the world I guess.

        Liked by 1 person

      • She must be one very special young lady. Please give her two hugs tonight and tell her one is from a broken down old cowboy who understands her pain. God bless her. You are a good man and father Mr Gary. You can call me Wayne.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. My heart goes out to those in chronic pain and I think this is a wonderful heartfelt post. I get aches and pain from my work, usually a good sleep helps and I’m better the next day only to feel it after a long night at work again as the cycle goes with a full time job. But it isn’t exactly chronic and I get along with little to no pain meds. Thanks for sharing dear friend, and I hope and pray your pain subsides even for a few hours. I can see you try and stay strong, glad you can find comfort outdoors! 😃🥰

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are such a kindhearted person. Thank you for the kind words. I was trying to bring attention to it because so many think we are fakes. I have fielded some pretty harsh comments through the years. I don’t let it get to me though. I just smile and say God Bless you.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. That’s truly sad that there’s people that think you are faking 💔 and you are so big hearted to just smile and bless them when they have no idea what you endure. I guess it’s their innate selfishness that makes them be rather cold. Anyways, it’s good to bring attention to this subject. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sadly, people who suffer from chronic pain are often questioned about their pain and its a constant battle. We shouldn’t have to explain ourselves, we suffer enough. I found it really hard to understand and come to terms with my pain. I have actually up until now not really wanted to share my story but it seems there are many supportive people out there and it inspired me to share my story. This was a very interesting read and offered me a bit of comfort to know there are others out there who feel the way I do on a daily basis. It is hard to stay positive at times but keep up ignoring those negative people. Stay safe.

    Liked by 1 person

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