Healing

Let the Healing Begin

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St. Francis River near Frederiktown River

“My scars remind me that I did indeed survive my deepest wounds. That in itself is an accomplishment. And they bring to mind something else, too. They remind me that the damage life has inflicted on me has, in many places, left me stronger and more resilient. What hurt me in the past has actually made me better equipped to face the present.”

Steve Goodier

At the moment, the world is in great need of lots of love and healing. Presently there is so much hate and discontent and it looks as if it is going to get worse before it gets better. Turmoil and confusion are the new norm. People are being controlled through fear, intimidation and misinformation. It has come to the point that one doesn’t know what to believe.

St. Francis River near Fredericktown, MO.

Pray, pray and pray some more. We are told that, “the truth shall set you free!” What is the truth? The whole truth and nothing but the truth. That’s a $64 question.

I don’t know what is in our future. We can’t give up or lose sight of what we believe in or our dreams. We have to be kind to each other even if we disagree with each other. Healing won’t start until we learn to love one another. I pray that we learn from all of this so that we will be stronger in the future.

St. Francis River near Fredericktown, MO

I chose the pictures I used because of the peace and solace it gives me. It is my safe place and my place for healing. The rocks represent me, and the river is life. Every day the rocks (me) get pounded by the river (life) and the rocks persevere. The river just takes the rough edges off the rocks.

It’s Been A Year

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My cast after surgery.

A year ago today I was rolled into the operating room for a complete ankle replacement. It had been over 40 years since I had taken a step without pain. My doctor said this would take care of that but the healing process would take a year to a year and a half to be fully healed. So the journey began.

I have to admit the first three days I was in intense pain and the pain pills did very little to alleviate the pain. On the fourth day I got some relief but I was still in a lot of pain. I was beginning to wonder if I had made the right choice.

I was on crutches longer than was expected because when he went to secure my new ankle to the leg bone the bone splintered and an extra screw was needed and the bone had to mend before I could put weight on it.

Second cast

I received a new cast and then eventually a walking boot. There was still quite a bit of pain and I was experiencing a lot of swelling but I was on the road to recovery.

Six months went by then eight and then ten. I was still experiencing pain but there had been some progress.

I finally got where I could walk fairly well on flat ground but an incline or uneven ground was a challenge. After 11 months I still had pain at times but it was much better. I was really beginning to wonder if I made the right decision.

My foot at around 6 months

I finally made a decision to try the Blue Emu Oil with hemp and see if it would help. To my surprise it was quite effective and the pain began to melt away. I could actually walk without pain.

After a year I went down memory lane revisiting the ups and downs. I will admit that just 3 weeks ago I was wondering if the surgery had been worth it. Yes it was. It’s great to be able to walk without pain. I still have pain at times but I am confident in saying I will be fully recovered in the next six months.

After all the ups and downs it has been worth the pain to get to where I am today. I have started fly fishing again and hope to take my first big hike this weekend. If I had it to do all over again I would make the same choice. I no longer suffer from chronic pain.

My foot today

The Road to Recovery

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Fly Fishing Therapy

One bad habit we seem to have is taking life for granted. Take my mobility away from me and I become lost. I panicked and I didn’t function right. So you can only imagine how excited I was when the doctor told me I could mothball the crutches. Woohoo! Yes! I am close to recovering my full mobility! One step at a time.

I decided to celebrate by visiting Lakeview Lake located in the Bonne Terre City Park. I arrived at 8 am and I am here to tell you it was the beginning of a beautiful day. The temp had already climbed into the 40s. I had purchased a new Orvis Encounter fly fishing combo and I was itching to try it out.

As I was working the fly outfit I realized I was still pain free. Life is good unfortunately the fishing wasn’t. There are benches that were installed around the park so I decided to park my fat arse on one of the benches and become a nature watcher. I had some ducks and geese who were eager to entertain me. They put on a performance worthy of an Emmy. I watched them for a good 45 minutes until the geese decided to take flight and terminate the performance.

I grabbed the Orvis and began fishing again but to no avail. The fish obviously weren’t willing to cooperate.

One reason I chose Lakeview for my first outing was because there is a paved walking track around it. It provides easier walking than the perimeter of the lake and I didn’t know if I would still have a hitch in my git along or if it would be a good day.

After 40 years of chronic pain I wasn’t really sure what to expect on my first outing. In the back of my mind every time I took a step I was sure I was going to be overtaken by a painful step but it never happened. Not one bad step. A little faith goes a long way when you believe.

I didn’t catch any fish but it was a very enjoyable day. I know I have a long way to go before I am completely healed but I am off to a damn good start.

October 10, 2020

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Day three and no problems so far. One thing i have learned is how important it is to keep my foot elevated. It keeps the swelling down for sure.

My biggest cocern was getting around. I had access to a walker and my insurance would pay for crutches. The crutches make it easier to navigate steps.

The pain was an 8 the first 3 days and today it has subsided a lot to a 2. I must confess I was a little worried because I had heard from a couple they had a real tough time. I hope I’m not jinxing myself.

So if you are thinking about getting a full ankle replacement all I can say is it isn’t going to be a cake walk. It is going to be tough. I plan on keeping you posted on my progress.

My Hiding Place

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The river is my sanctuary. When I am sitting on a gravel bar at 3 in the morning, looking up at the stars I sometimes feel like I am the only person on earth.

As I sit there I listen to the soothing song of the crickets, tree frogs, and bull frogs and begin to meditate. I clear my mind of negativity. I feel a calmness around me. I don’t have much but I have this special place to come to and heal my mind, spirit and soul. A recharge of sorts.

As I sit there looking into the fire my mind begins to wander. I wonder if anyone else has camped here? Did they appreciate it? Did they relish the silence, or did the silence scare them?

Did anyone sit here and drink in the night sky filled with stars and are they as elated as I am when I see a star fall from the heavens?

The river is a mystical place for me. It’s a place where I can become one with Mother Nature.

There is so much life on the river.

The important part is I feel safe here. Even alone on a sandbar in the wee hours of the morning, in the dark, I am in my element, my safe place. Everyone should have a place like this to go to. It boosts your mental state and improves your peace of mind.

It can be a studio you do your art work in, a den where you put your inner thoughts on paper. It may be your quilting room or in a flower or vegetable garden. It may be on the back of your favorite equine. It is a safe place where you can have peace of mind and healing. It should be a calming place where you shed all the negativity that you have been carrying. Your place.

Feel free to tell us about your safe place in the “comments” section. It will be interesting to see the variety of hiding places used to get right with yourself and deal with the negativity of the world. A place to fill your heart, soul, spirit, and mind with love.

Opinions, Everyone has One

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

“We all have the right of freedom of speech under the First Amendment.  We all don’t have to agree with one another on our opinions.  Everyone in my circle, that I run with, we all feel the same about God, country, integrity and character. – Luke Scott

Being a 50s baby I am totally lost as what is going on today in America.  I can remember when folks disagreed because of different opinions.  It’s not something that just started.  I don’t remember it getting as ugly (which caused me to write this) as folks are today to each other when their opinions differ.  At the same time we didn’t have “social media” either.

Our opinions aren’t always going to be the same. That is why there is the left and  the right.  I am basically an in the middle kind of guy.  I have never voted a straight ticket.  I always look at the candidate and their views.  Yes, your opinions are as different as night and day but you don’t have the right to threaten or bully each other   The hostilities have got to cease and be replaced with some civility.

“Different people have different opinions, and it’s okay to respect all of them.”  – Juan Pablo Galavis

The thing that bothers me most is the double standard of the left and the violence they are instigating.  Left; the elections were almost 2 years ago and you still won’t accept defeat even after you screwed Sanders and gave the nomination to Clinton.  Bernie would have beat Trump in my opinion even though you don’t think I am entitled to an opinion.  Now you are looking for anything to blame the loss on.  Right; obviously you didn’t understand why rural America got out and voted because you have done nothing.  Don’t think you can’t be voted out.  You have a lot of convincing to do in the next 2 years.

I must respect the opinions of others even if I disagree with them.” – Herbert H. Lehman

It seems that today in this country that the Main Stream News Media is doing their best to incite a riot and create a bigger divide in this country.  I remember when news reporters read the news and didn’t give an opinion.  The way it should be.  Hollywood; shut the “F” up.  The majority of you make me want to puke.  Everyone says Trump is a joke and other countries are laughing at us because of it.  Really?  I guess you haven’t done anything to make other countries laugh at us.  Nobody entertained us like Joe Biden but that was ok.

“America will never be destroyed from the outside.  If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.” – Abraham Lincoln

You all can believe what you want and think I am crazy but America is circling the drain and we are standing back watching.  First and foremost we are Americans not republicans or democrats.  It is time to bury the hatchet and plug that drain.  Do you think this group coming to the US from Honduras is just a coincidence?

Thanks for reading my blog.  Not a popular subject and I tried to avoid even writing about it but with the events that have went on lately I felt compelled to write about it.  I hope I didn’t hurt anyone’s feelings.  That isn’t my intention.

Be sure to “share the love.

 

 

It’s Your Life; Who’s In Charge

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“Sometimes we make the process more complicated than we need to.  We will never make a journey of a thousand miles by fretting about how long it will take or how hard it will be.  We make the journey by taking each day step by step and then repeating it again and again until we reach our destination.” – David B Wirthlin

In the picture above the river represents your life and the dam represents control. Who/what controls your life.

Old cowboy saying, “A woman finds her a man she wants and says I can change him.  A cowboy finds a woman he wants and says I hope she never changes.”

So many things  can control your life and you may not even know.  Drugs, alcohol, gambling, and sex can all become a control issue. Most of the time they are pretty obvious to your friends and family and garner a lot of attention sometimes resulting in one getting help.

There is one form of control that literally breaks my heart.  Low self esteem.  It can make you a prisoner in your own world.  Some people don’t even realize they have it.  If you were bullied in school, had abusive parents, always ridiculed and never complimented or parents that never interacted or did things with you, then you probably battle with low self esteem.  Good news  is that if you are, you don’t have to.  With the help of some family members, friends and YOU, YOU can heal yourself.

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These wildflowers are representative of a new beginning.

“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong.  There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right.  To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you are one that suffers from low self esteem, to beat it you have to restore your self confidence.  You have to quit listening to others and believe in yourself.  You are somebody.  You are beautiful.  You are a good person.

It’s not gong to be an easy row to hoe.  You are going to have to be strong and unwavering.  Create yourself a negative free environment and begin a healing process.  Surround yourself with positive friends and family and seek out a good counselor.  All these people will be good for you.  Again I stress you have to believe in yourself and take control of your life.

For those of you that have an addiction, you will have to use a little different approach but you can get control of your life back.  Surround yourself with positive people and again, find yourself a good counselor.  Set realistic goals and don’t lose sight of them and don’t ever give up.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog.  Share the love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Nature: The Healer

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Big River

“I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order.” – John Burroughs

I have always been drawn to nature ever since I was knee high to a grasshopper.  I have always had the opportunity to get lost in the allure of nature and fill my mind and spirit with its serenity.  I am truly blessed.

I truly wish that everyone could have a chance to immerse themselves in nature for one week.  No outside interferences and primitive camping only.  I really think it would change peoples lives.  Nature has a way of taking all the negativity you have accumulated and shed it from your inner being.  If you decide you want to do this sometime, I have put together a little something I hope will make it a pleasurable experience for you.

A Guide To Help You Find Yourself

You need a place to camp.  I recommend using state campgrounds in conservation areas.  They usually have walking trails.  Some have creeks, rivers and lakes in them which add to your “things to do list”.  Fishing, kayaking and canoeing become available for you to use.  They make it easy to get lost in nature.

If you are serious about finding yourself, I recommend primitive camping because, in a way it brings us back to the ways of our ancestors.  No electric.  No running water. No TV!  Wow, I heard a lot of moans then.  It really is a humbling experience.  It will make you appreciate a lot of things in your life.  Go by yourself.  Make sure you practice meditation during your time in nature.  It is the perfect venue to use mediation for cleansing your soul, mind and spirit.  A good book doesn’t hurt either.  Now I am not talking A Thousand Shades of Purple or Yearnings of a Desperate Housewife/Husband.  Maybe a self-help book, philosophical, spiritual and thought provoking.

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Camp on 12/16/2017

 

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Camp 12/16/2017

Cook your own meals.  If you don’t like cooking there are some really delicious MREs on the market.  The object of this week long camping trip is to be able to live within your own little world for the whole week so that you won’t be distracted by outside influences or ideas.  This time is to be used for you to find yourself.  Tame your demons and deal with the skeletons in your closet that seem to be holding you back to achieve your dreams.  A good time to evaluate yourself and where you are at in your life.

“Walk in nature and feel the healing power of trees.” Anthony William

 

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Sunrise

Get up before dawn and sit in solitude and watch the sunrise and the beginning of a new day.  Listen carefully as the wildlife begins their day.  Get lost in the sun as it rises in the east and let your imagination run wild.  Track your thoughts and feelings in your journal so that you will have it to remind you of that morning when you are back at the daily grind.

 

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Sunset

Then an hour before sunset make your way to some place you can watch the sunset as  your day comes to an end.  In the solitude absorb all the things that happened that day.  Be sure to add them to your journal.  As the sun slips into the west listen to all the new sounds of the forest as the fingers of daylight recede and succumb to the darkness.  Hear the coyote howling in the distance as the symphony of crickets began their night of music.  Relax and enjoy and clear your mind.  Let the serenity of the night lull you into a peacefulness that is hard to explain.  Once you feel it you will never think the same.

In closing I would like to say I am a realist and know that not everyone would be comfortable in this setting.  If you like the idea and never experienced it please by all means go for it.  You won’t be sorry and you will be a new person.  You will appreciate more in life and you will like yourself better.

“There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature – the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after winter.” – Rachel Carson, Silent Spring

Thanks for reading.  If you have never done this and do take up the adventure please let me know what you thought about indulging in such an undertaking.  Don’t forget to spread the love.