Taken For Granted

Abandoned building at the Missouri Historic Mine Site

I have seen so many times, a relationship destroyed because someone took the other person for granted. It happens far too often. Couples become complacent in their relationship, and someone takes the other for granted. I think it happens so gradual they don’t even realize they are doing it. I don’t think the guilty party really knows it until the damage is done.

Can the damage be repaired? In my opinion it is totally up to the guilty party. They have to acknowledge the wrong they did and accept responsibility. Too many times they are in denial. “I didn’t do that”, “You are being ridiculous.”, “It’s your imagination.”, etc… One will never fix the wrong and make it right if they don’t admit they screwed up. lt takes a big person to admit they did wrong but with some work the relationship might be able to be saved. At least an effort is being made to right the wrong. It is going to take hard work, but the reward is well worth the effort.

Identify the problem, take responsibility and commit to repairing the damage done.

The information contained in this blog is strictly my opinion and observations. I have no degree and I am no professional. It is just a collection of my thoughts.

Know Yourself

To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment.” – Eckhart Tolle

How well do we really know ourselves?  How much time do we spend on getting to know ourselves?

On the other hand we spend a lot of time trying to get to know others.  We become infatuated by someone and begin having feelings for them and we begin the task of getting to know them better.  We want to know what makes them tick, their likes and dislikes and anything we can find out to help our cause to win their hearts over.  We spend all of this time and energy not realizing that we need to be getting to know ourselves.

I feel the majority of people have forgotten to take the time to know themselves.   Not knowing yourself can be very detrimental to any relationship.  Knowing yourself adds so much depth to a relationship.  If you know what you want out of life and stay true to not accepting anything less you are going to have a better chance of having a healthy relationship.

That is why it is so important to know yourself.  Go to your safe place, meditate, search your soul, whatever works for you and know yourself.  Nurture your self esteem and most of all learn to believe in yourself.  Know what you want and don’t lose site of your dreams.  It is your life now take charge of it.

“The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself.” – Thale

If you want a white picket fence in the country and the person of interest in your life wants a loft apartment in the city, NEWSFLASH!, the odds are very slim that it will ever work even if you are willing to compromise because some day there is going to be an argument and someone is going to say “I gave up everything I wanted in life to make you happy!”.

Why should we settle for anything less than happiness?  I don’t give a rat’s arse what folks have told you but we all deserve happiness.  However there is a “catch 22”.  It is your responsibility to find it, not anyone else.  The first action needed in this adventure down life’s highway is for you to know yourself and find your destination.

“The better you know yourself,  the better your relationship with the rest of the world.” – Toni Collette

There is the old joke that a woman marries a man thinking, I can change him.  A man marries a woman thinking, I don’t want her to ever change ’cause I love her the way she is.

Now once again, I am not a counselor, no degree or education as a counselor.  I am just someone that has lived life.  First I want to clarify that compromise isn’t out of the question but it has to be for the right reason.  I know I have heard people say that their counselor told them they needed to come to a compromise.  These were married people who had a lot of blood, sweat and tears invested in their marriage.  At that point it could be a good thing depending on the individuals, situation and many other variables.  That is another blog.

My personal opinion is that individuals need to know themselves before they become serious about a relationship.  If you want a Tom Selleck/ Jenifer Aniston then by all means set your goal and don’t waiver.  Now this example is somewhat radical but I am just trying to get a point across.  Know what you want in life, stay focused and don’t waiver.  You owe that to yourself.  You deserve happiness and compromise dilutes that.

“Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.” – Doris Mortman

I hope my blog has made sense to everyone.  I thank you for taking the time to read it.  Remember to Spread the love.