“The best thinking has been done in solitude.” – Thomas A Edison
There are those who don’t like to be alone and those like myself who do. One has to decide which makes them happy. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. Which one is the best for a person? It depends on the individual.
” Be a loner. That gives you time to wonder, to search for the truth, have holy curiosity. Make your life worth living.” – Albert Einstein
I like being alone. I am at peace with the world when it’s just me, my thoughts, and my memories. Even though they aren’t physical warm bodies, I am not really alone. Nobody can take them from me unless I let them. I don’t have to make them happy or be afraid of offending them. I don’t have to worry about hurting their feelings.
I have traveled the other road that was littered with disappointment and unnecessary drama. Did this cause me to be a loner? I would like to think no however it is a possibility.
Actually I love the freedom of being a loner. I can concentrate on what makes me happy. I don’t need anyone’s permission if I take a notion to go fishing, hunting or take a road trip. I just do it.
Am I being selfish? Some will say yes. I say no because I am happy and content. I have basically spent my life taking care of someone else and sadly, disappointment was the end result. I was so worried about making them happy I forgot about me.
I will admit it isn’t for everybody. I think one has to be a strong person with a healthy mind to be a loner. I do get extremely aggravated when the news media covering a crime story seem to always say the criminal was a loner. They might have been but they had mental and hate issues that led them down the criminal path.
I am in no way trying to convince anyone to become a loner. I am just merely explaining why I chose this path and hoping people have a better understanding of why I embrace this way of life. Here I find peace and tranquility. Not everyone will because it isn’t for everyone.
Maybe there is a lot of selfishness in this lifestyle but it is who I am and how I roll. If someone wanted me to change wouldn’t that be selfish of them? Learn to accept people for who they are and don’t try to change them. I don’t judge you so please don’t judge me.
3 thoughts on “Confessions Of A Loner”
There is a lot to be said, positively and supportive, about choosing to live a solitary life.
Alone doesn’t equate to lonely. Not everyone understands that. I know well meaning friends must say, “but you’re such a great guy…” and I get it. Sometimes, by happenstance, by nature of our work lives, we live a more solitary life. Solitary too because our professions don’t make a lot of room for others. A farrier’s life IS quite solitary; it’s not like you even have coworkers to chat with during the day (Kate’s a great companion, silent but loving, ha), and horses don’t always talk to us. After a while, after so much self reliance and resourceful experiences for years, we become so capable of handling Everything, even people close to us define us as independent, not needing anyone for anything, that it also never occurs to anyone that even solitary people could use a hug, someone to check on us now and then, a shoulder to cry on or a friend who’ll talk to us all night just because we connect… Solitary lives don’t expect anything from others, but, we Do need to connect to the human race. Friends. Acquaintances. Family.
I know the solitary life, got very used to it being the way of my life for a long time, too. But, some times, “touch and goes”, are needed to remind us that there Are people who’d like to be friends, no expectations, just friends who, once in a while, grab dinner, go fishing, or just talk, without “answering to” anyone. Real friends. Rare. But exist.
I’m pretty sure you have that with Dave. Y’all are in contact regularly enough, share kayaking, camping, and fishing times. You look forward to those trips, a visitor in your life, while sharing your connections to the Water. Then, you return to your respective lives. You’re happy. So few truly are
What really counts, is that you Are Happy. Solitary life isn’t as restrictive as some think, but actually you are So open to life’s pleasures and adventures, the only way to fully embrace your experiences, is to do them, solo.
It suits your writer creativity. Because you call all the shots, you can be fully engaged in your life, free to experience every nuance, without “distraction”. Not every one gets it. But for those who do, we are often envious of that freedom and ability to do what, when, where, and how one wants.
It suits you. Just drop us a line now and then. We don’t want to bother you, just want to know you’re ok, and make sure you know that we’re here, if and whenever you ever want or need a break from the silence.
Do Your thing. We will be here, waiting for your next blog. Waiting for your story of life. Seeing it thru your eyes by your words. Connecting thru “touch (your blogs), and goes (til next time)”. It works
PS: with your soul connection to water, you would feel right at home in the amazing rivers in this part of Montana. Every time I see a kayak in the waters here, with the solitary rider just floating and fishing, I think of you (and the movie A River Runs Through It), and totally, completely, get it.
Thank you for a very soul deep, thought provoking piece.
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I knew if anyone would understand you would. I am still waiting to read one of your blogs. Thanks for being a good friend.
PS: don’t ever think you are bothering me.
I’m glad you knew I’d understand. It’s what friends do 😊. Me write blogs? As much of a chatter box I can be, I wouldn’t have a clue what to write. I’d much rather read yours. I’ll draw and paint, you write. Til next time…don’t squat with your spurs on 😀
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