Released At Last

2 weeks after surgery

Today was my last visit to the doctor’s office. My surgery was on October 7. It seems to be a success. No pain except for the healing pains.

The purpose of this blog is to share my experience with my complete ankle replacement so those having the same surgery could know what to expect.

I have to admit the first 3 days after surgery was tough. I had never been in this much pain. What had I done? Am I crazy?

Finally the pain began to subside. It was at least bearable. The crutches were a nuisance. Everything I did was a chore. Nothing was easy.

When he moved me up to the walking boot life was grand. I could do a lot more. I was even graining the horses. I did some trout fishing. The day after Christmas I graduated to a regular shoe.

This presented some problems. I was having to deal with a lot of swelling. Now I had to figure out how to get my foot in the shoe. Another problem was I was unable to use those muscles for 12 weeks and they were very weak. That made it hard to walk.

I take it day by day. There is improvement every day. It could take 8 months to a year to completely heal.

Would I do it again knowing what I know now? Absolutely! The benefits outweigh the tough times after surgery.

I hope this helps those who are considering going through the surgery. it’s a tough decision. I am glad I chose surgery.

A Cold Day of Trout Fishing

Rainbow Trout caught at Giessing Lake

Fishing provides that connection with the whole living world. It gives you the opportunity of being totally immersed, turning back into yourself in a good way. A form of meditation, some form of communion with levels of yourself that are deeper than the ordinary self.” – Ted Hughes

My childhood friend David Tripp drove in from Texas for a visit. Now that only meant one thing; fishing trip. We decided to invade Engler Park in Farmington, MO and try our luck at fishing for trout in Giessing Lake.

Temp was supposed to be near 50. It would have been nice if someone would have told Mother Nature. David opted for a fly rod and I grabbed my spin cast. I tied a yellow Glo-ball/bait with a quarter ounce split shod and a bobber about 2 feet above the Glo-ball.

It started out really slow with no bites. I had been sitting there for what seemed like 3 months and couldn’t capture the interest of not one trout. Wow! I have never been skunked on this lake before. My reputation is at stake! After about 20 minutes of sitting there freezing my arse off, BAM! Trout on. The fight was on. This fish was having no part of this. I finally landed him.

First trout of the day.

I released him back into the lake, and cast my line back out. I had got my hands wet while freeing the trout back into the water. Yeah I know not real smart. It wasn’t long until I couldn’t feel my fingers and kept checking to make sure they hadn’t fell off. BAM! Number 2 was now on the end of the line and about 40 minutes later I landed number 3.

Second of the day!

As I sat on my stool the wind was showing no mercy. I had begun shivering and they could hear my teeth chattering three counties away. Earthquake! False alarm. It was just the ground moving from my shivering body. Reminded me of that song “I feel the earth move under my feet….”. My dad always said I didn’t have the sense God gave a turnip and at this point I was beginning to think he was right. Finally after what seemed like an eternity I was able to land number four.

Third one of the day!

My friend David caught three and got them to the bank where they managed to slip the hook. Good for him he didn’t have to get his hands wet releasing them.

All in all, even though I felt like I was a popsicle, it was a good day. I love to watch David work a fly rod. As I sat there in the cold my Mom’s words from when I was a young un came back to haunt me, “Now make sure you dress warm.” Why didn’t I think of that?

A Long Way To Go!

The art of healing comes from nature not from the physician. Therefore the physician must start from nature, with an open mind. “ – Paracelsus

One thing I didn’t give much consideration and I wish now I would have, is physical strength. Presently I can’t put any weight on my right foot. At 66 years old it has produced a little bit of a problem. I have to use my upper body strength to get up and down. I am managing but wear out quickly. I would recommend working on your upper body strength to make moving around and walking easier.

As far as pain I can report that it hasn’t been real bad. I talked to two people who had went through the surgery and had a battle with pain. They are healed up and life is good for them with their new ankles. My first couple days I ran around an 8 on the pain scale but stay around a 2 now. What I call the “healing itch” has started and I am treating it with Benadryl and it seems to be working fine.

Equal At Last

Today was a day for pulling maintenance on the lawn equipment I use for caring for the cemeteries I maintain during grass cutting season. As I went about my work my mind dwelled on those buried within the three cemeteries.

The three are located in Farmington, MO. K of P, Masonic and Odd Fellow cemeteries. All three are rich with history.

There are those buried there that were famous, wealthy, middle class and poor. Some of the headstones are quite ornate and some are just plain and simple. There are family plots and individuals. Some are decorated with flowers regularly, some just at holidays and some never have anything placed upon their graves.

They come from all walks of life. Athletes, politicians, veterans, wealthy businessmen and those who lived everyday normal life’s who worked hard to make both ends meet. Those buried next to people they never knew. In life they may have never really been equal but now in their final resting place they are now equal in the end.

(Note: above picture is of Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery)

MDC Once Again Under Attack!

The Missouri Conservation and Use Tax is once again under attack. ‘This money goes directly to support forest and wildlife conservation efforts. Out of every $8 of taxable goods one penny goes for conservation.

In the early 70s Missouri citizens petitioned to get the tax placed on the ballot. They succeeded, it passed and was implemented on July 1, 1977. Then in 1999 state officials attempted to divert the money collected to pay refunds to taxpayers to only have the Missouri Supreme Court rule that the money could only be used for conservation and not be considered part of the states total revenues.

When I was a child there were a lot of areas of Missouri where it was rare to see a deer or a turkey. I grew up fishing the Big River and bass fishing was mediocre.

In 1977 when the money was allocated to the MDC, things began to change. A little slow at first but soon things began to improve. Due to responsible conservation efforts game became more abundant. Hunters were allotted more tags to fill for deer and turkey. Bass fishing became more rewarding. Money started coming in from out of state hunters who wanted to take advantage of our good hunting. Out of state fisherman also traveled to Missouri to take advantage of our excellent fishing. New land was bought and more public hunting areas and river accesses were made available. New conservation areas were established. Other states began to take notice and implemented programs in their states that the MDC had created.

Now Republican Chris Dinkins of District 144 has introduced two constitutional amendments that could destroy the improvements that have been made. HJR 108 and HJR 112. She says it is in an effort to rein in the overgrown bureaucracy of the MDC and make the department more accountable to the people.

HJR 108 would give the voters the opportunity to change the Missouri Conservation Commission. Presently the commission has four members who are appointed by the governor. Her amendment would change that number to nine nonpartisan members. Voters would elect one member from the current MDC districts and the governor would appoint one member to the commission. I thought she wanted to rein in bureaucracy within the department but this would only add to it causing more bureaucratic red tape.

HJR 112, if passed by voters, would take two thirds of the money and pass it on to other areas in need. The Missouri Supreme Court has already ruled that the money could only be used for conservation and can not be considered part of the states total revenues. Lawsuits? I know the voters are voting on it but the voters passed it in the first place.

She points out that the MDC has a savings account balance of almost 100 million dollars. Sounds to me like they are being pretty responsible. Representative Dinkins that’s let me point out that a savings account is usually used for emergencies. How much of that money was contributed from the Conservation Sales and Use Tax and how much from the sale of licenses, tags, ammo, etc.? If the economy tanks the MDC could go through that money pretty quickly in an effort to keep its programs afloat. Did you ever think of that are better yet do you even care? She says the MDC continues to attack the civil liberties of this state but cites no references. If you are going to throw the sportsmen of this state under the bus at least tell us why? Since you represent Reynolds county I would be suspect it has something to do with the battle between feral hog hunters and the MDC. So your solution is to punish all sportsman of the state of Missouri?

I hope the sportsmen in this state takes a long hard look at what is going on here and the impact these two amendments will have on bird hunting, deer hunting, turkey hunting, fishing and all the other programs offered by the MDC. Are we going to stand by and let this destroy all the accomplishments the MDC has made since 1977. I for one hope not.

Chronic Pain

Pain is the body’s way of telling the brain we are still alive. That’s my story and I am sticking to it.

I have wrestled with the idea of addressing this subject for sometime. I think I can speak for the majority of us who suffer from chronic pain syndrome when I say we aren’t looking for sympathy or pity. We just want you to understand what we are dealing with. Too many think we are overreacting and are just cry babies. I am here to tell you the pain is real and can be relentless at times.

Mine began when I crushed my heel, broke my ankle and instep in 1979. My toes were about the only thing that were spared. The doctor who treated me said he didn’t think I would walk again and if I managed to do so it would be with the assistance of a cane. He was wrong on both counts.

The bones healed but the pain never really stopped. It just got worse. It has wreaked havoc on my quality of life. I have reached a point where all I want to do is sit on my arse and keep my foot elevated to combat the pain.

On those days I force myself to get up, put on my big boy panties and deal with it. Some days are harder than others. The pain is not only physical but emotional as well. I have to fight off depression daily but I can say I have remained victorious in that battle. I get tired of hurting. I try to remember what life was like without pain. It keeps me awake at night and causes fatigue. It becomes a chore just to go to town 3 miles away. Negative thoughts try to creep in but I have learned to keep them at bay with positive thoughts. It can be quite the emotional battle that some days drain me mentally and physically.

Recently I have had to start the day using a cane but once I am up and moving for about an hour and the foot loosens up I can lose the cane. There are mornings that I have to work diligently to get my foot in a boot. The majority of my pain is caused by inflammation and arthritis.

I have enrolled in pain management with little success. I was on hydrocodone for ten years until one morning I got up and took myself off it. It basically just dulled my pain and I was afraid of what it was doing to my body. I wasn’t getting any real benefit from it. I have tried ointments and even used horse liniment that gives short lived temporary relief never completely eradicating the pain.

I contribute my ability to cope with CPS to my love of nature, fishing and kayaking. They keep me motivated to deal with it and to keep on trucking.

I am by no means the only one who suffers from CPS and we all have different ways of combating it. Just please be aware that for the majority of us the pain is real. Our quality of life sucks and we become cranky and hard to be around. We don’t mean to be but the fatigue and pain sometimes become so unbearable we lash out even though it against our better judgement.

No doubt you all know someone who suffers from CPS. Please don’t offer us pity or sympathy. Instead try to understand us and be a positive force in our life. Help us through the rough spots. There are days that an “atta boy” or hug can ease the pain, give us hope and brighten our days. Please don’t judge us just try to understand us.

Don’t Know How Much I Can Endure

“Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them, and filling an emptiness we didn’t ever know we had.” – Thom Jones

I just had to have my Great Pyrenees euthanized on November 6, 2019. Cancer had attacked his body and he lost the war. He was only six years old.

Today, January 22,2020 I had a veterinarian appointment for my Australian Shepherd, Kate. X-Rays showed her lungs were riddled with tumors. I was devastated.

Kate was born on January 1, 2011. We became very attached to each other. I was a horseshoer and she was my ride dog. We were inseparable.

The vet thinks she has 1 to 2 weeks left with me before she crosses the bridge. Her crossing will leave a huge hole in my heart. Those who don’t love and respect animals like I do think I am being silly. For those of you who understand what it is like to love or be loved by a dog I thank God for you because you get it.

Wayne White

“The one best place to bury a good dog is in the heart of its master.” – Unknown

Equine Ownership

As a retired horseshoer and horse owner I have learned a lot about the equine. They, like people, all have their own personalities. They are also a lot more intelligent than people give them credit for.

A lot of responsibility comes with ownership. There is a lot of work involved and it isn’t cheap. If you don’t own property and have to board your horse it can be quite expensive. If you keep your horse in a stall the stall needs to be mucked out daily. They also have to be fed hay daily. Depending on the horse and what you are doing with the horse you may need to feed grain twice a day every day.

“I’ve often said there is nothing better for the inside of the man, than the outside of the horse.” – Ronald Reagan

Now if you show your horse, compete in rodeos or trail ride you are going to need a trailer to haul your horse in and a truck to pull it. Now this could be a rather large expense.

Let’s not forget veterinarian expenses and annual shots, worming, hoof care and unexpected events.

All in all equine ownership isn’t cheap. In my opinion though the reward is worth the expense.

My Take On Life

” The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss and have found their way out of those depths. – Elisabeth Kubler-Rossi

Life is a series of curveballs. It seems it is going to smack you head on then at the last minute turns away from us leaving us confused and perplexed wondering what’s next.

Was it fate or was it a well orchestrated move by a higher power? Was it’s purpose to wake us up or a warning of what’s to come or to prepare us for future events?

In life there are times of celebration, struggle and failure. Nothing in life is guaranteed. Death is the only certainty in life. Rich or poor we all face the reality of death. There is no guarantee that there will be a tomorrow. We are responsible for writing our own book of life.

Life should be lived to its fullest. Every day we are given should be celebrated. Be thankful for every day you are awarded.

Fill your heart with love and joy. Don’t entertain drama or negative thoughts for they are only poison to the spirit and void of any usefulness. Depression feeds on drama and negativity robbing one of a joyous and productive life.

Don’t wish your life away on material things. Be thankful for who you are and what you have. It could always be worse even if you hit rock bottom.

Stay focused on the positive things in your life. Be kind to everyone even if they aren’t to you. Don’t be quick to judge them because you know not the demons they may be facing in their life. Never blame someone else for your mistakes. Accept the responsibility of your decisions. Never doubt yourself or your abilities.

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” Frederick Douglas

Always believe in yourself and love who you are. Know that you can overcome any obstacle in front of you on the road of life. None of us are immune to hard times. Learn to overcome them and learn from your mistakes. Be victorious in your struggles.

I am not going to sugar coat it. Life can be a tough row to hoe. Determination is an essential element of life to help you win the battles you face. Your struggles build character and how you confront them will determine if you will be happy or miserable.

The above is just my opinion of life from what I have learned in my 65 years. I hope life is good to you and your life is full of love, happiness and joy.

Confessions Of A Loner

“The best thinking has been done in solitude.” – Thomas A Edison

There are those who don’t like to be alone and those like myself who do. One has to decide which makes them happy. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. Which one is the best for a person? It depends on the individual.

” Be a loner. That gives you time to wonder, to search for the truth, have holy curiosity. Make your life worth living.” – Albert Einstein

I like being alone. I am at peace with the world when it’s just me, my thoughts, and my memories. Even though they aren’t physical warm bodies, I am not really alone. Nobody can take them from me unless I let them. I don’t have to make them happy or be afraid of offending them. I don’t have to worry about hurting their feelings.

I have traveled the other road that was littered with disappointment and unnecessary drama. Did this cause me to be a loner? I would like to think no however it is a possibility.

Actually I love the freedom of being a loner. I can concentrate on what makes me happy. I don’t need anyone’s permission if I take a notion to go fishing, hunting or take a road trip. I just do it.

Am I being selfish? Some will say yes. I say no because I am happy and content. I have basically spent my life taking care of someone else and sadly, disappointment was the end result. I was so worried about making them happy I forgot about me.

I will admit it isn’t for everybody. I think one has to be a strong person with a healthy mind to be a loner. I do get extremely aggravated when the news media covering a crime story seem to always say the criminal was a loner. They might have been but they had mental and hate issues that led them down the criminal path.

I am in no way trying to convince anyone to become a loner. I am just merely explaining why I chose this path and hoping people have a better understanding of why I embrace this way of life. Here I find peace and tranquility. Not everyone will because it isn’t for everyone.

Maybe there is a lot of selfishness in this lifestyle but it is who I am and how I roll. If someone wanted me to change wouldn’t that be selfish of them? Learn to accept people for who they are and don’t try to change them. I don’t judge you so please don’t judge me.